Stephanie, I read your book and as I have said here before, your story is similar to mine in some ways, including being a writer. I want to watch your show and every time I start it triggers. You are an inspiration to so many women. Always remember that.
Such an important point. Having the option to stop watching or not experience that discomfort is a privilege that many don't have. The only way change will happen is for people to push past that discomfort and use their privilege to make a difference for others.
Thanks for addressing this reaction. Your book and the fictionalization are worthy of our time!
I have a friend who also could not watch it. I would say she is privileged . She can somehow handle any other serious dramatization but felt somehow triggered. I don’t know enough about her childhood but I think it is what is traumatic. Somehow your book was easier for her to handle.
I couldn't stop watching and have told countless people to watch. Your bravery, grit, determination, vulnerability, and authenticity are compelling and shine such a bright light for others similarly situated. Thank you.
I love your book, words, and the show. In an undergrad literature and media studies class I taught on self-writing last winter, I assigned a chapter from the book (students could read more if they wanted) and we watched the first episode of Maid in the class altogether. I had several students tell me or write afterwards—male and female—how powerful that was; one said he watched the whole series with his mother and sister and they cried and hugged and that meant a lot to him. Thanks for showing up as a real human in this, and giving your words to others who can see themselves in validating ways thru them. For perspective, these were students in Washington state (UW Bothell). It’s interesting to think about why people might tell you they had to look away or turn away, shame, of course, is about humiliation, and closely related to “sham” or imposture. Thank you for your words and effort!
I’ve had people tell me it was too stressful for them to watch, to which I replied, “Don’t look away just because it makes you uncomfortable.” You’re correct in saying it is usually privileged people who do so.
I finally was able to watch the series this year, just a few months ago with my husband. I had tried when it first came out, but couldn’t stop crying long enough to get through the first episode. I returned to it because I wanted to face what I had gone through and what my husband had gone through as well.
Your story changed both of us. And I wholeheartedly believe everyone should watch it. It’s painful and heartbreaking and makes me angry in a million different ways, but it’s so incredibly important because it inspires action.
I’m grateful to you for sharing your life and story with all of us ♥️
Very small town take on this: it's tough when the only public forum is everyday life, they turn away when they see you coming (including longtime friends with shared experiences, which after all, is what friendship is based on), the narrative has been flipped unbeknown to you for [much] more than 35 years, toxic people build on the false narrative for their own status, frat boy types with stellar public personas see a victim which doesn't exist but who they continually try to revictimize (this bit of rationalization usually involves the frat boy-types' own alcoholism) & resources limit the opportunities to dismantle these false constructs. Among other things, I would say that if they respected other humans as they say they do, they'd quit with all that. Another important factor is that they know they're only insulated by money. I decided a long time ago that honesty was the hinge factor but there are many factors within a person's ability to be honest with themselves; their problems, not mine. It's been interesting, sociologically. I very much commend your ability to stand up in front of crowds & explain any of this. It's much needed. Glad you have a forum & love & hugs to you.
I'm so happy the series led me to your books and this page. I was intrigued originally because it was shot in my neighbourhood and I rated Margaret Q based on other productions. It was a hard watch, but a game changer for me. I worried for you/her throughout (despite knowing there would be a positive outcome) which I suppose is the litmus test for great drama. Then to find out you're a superb writer and genuine human on top. Doesn't get much better.
Thank you. More people need to watch the show. It’s like the people who say, “I’m not political.” Sending support! Your voice is sooo important.
Stephanie, I read your book and as I have said here before, your story is similar to mine in some ways, including being a writer. I want to watch your show and every time I start it triggers. You are an inspiration to so many women. Always remember that.
Such an important point. Having the option to stop watching or not experience that discomfort is a privilege that many don't have. The only way change will happen is for people to push past that discomfort and use their privilege to make a difference for others.
Thanks for addressing this reaction. Your book and the fictionalization are worthy of our time!
I have a friend who also could not watch it. I would say she is privileged . She can somehow handle any other serious dramatization but felt somehow triggered. I don’t know enough about her childhood but I think it is what is traumatic. Somehow your book was easier for her to handle.
Thank you. I had to stop watching because I was triggered, but when I felt better, I finished. I’m a survivor and your story means a lot to me.
As a survivor, I loved the fucking show (and the books)! Thank you for writing.
Just got the Kindle version of your book and I am looking forward to reading it.
True and powerful words! STFU is right on.
I couldn't stop watching and have told countless people to watch. Your bravery, grit, determination, vulnerability, and authenticity are compelling and shine such a bright light for others similarly situated. Thank you.
I love your book, words, and the show. In an undergrad literature and media studies class I taught on self-writing last winter, I assigned a chapter from the book (students could read more if they wanted) and we watched the first episode of Maid in the class altogether. I had several students tell me or write afterwards—male and female—how powerful that was; one said he watched the whole series with his mother and sister and they cried and hugged and that meant a lot to him. Thanks for showing up as a real human in this, and giving your words to others who can see themselves in validating ways thru them. For perspective, these were students in Washington state (UW Bothell). It’s interesting to think about why people might tell you they had to look away or turn away, shame, of course, is about humiliation, and closely related to “sham” or imposture. Thank you for your words and effort!
I’ve had people tell me it was too stressful for them to watch, to which I replied, “Don’t look away just because it makes you uncomfortable.” You’re correct in saying it is usually privileged people who do so.
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for hanging in there and showing us this can be survived.
I finally was able to watch the series this year, just a few months ago with my husband. I had tried when it first came out, but couldn’t stop crying long enough to get through the first episode. I returned to it because I wanted to face what I had gone through and what my husband had gone through as well.
Your story changed both of us. And I wholeheartedly believe everyone should watch it. It’s painful and heartbreaking and makes me angry in a million different ways, but it’s so incredibly important because it inspires action.
I’m grateful to you for sharing your life and story with all of us ♥️
"Why do I feel uncomfortable? is a very useful question."
Very small town take on this: it's tough when the only public forum is everyday life, they turn away when they see you coming (including longtime friends with shared experiences, which after all, is what friendship is based on), the narrative has been flipped unbeknown to you for [much] more than 35 years, toxic people build on the false narrative for their own status, frat boy types with stellar public personas see a victim which doesn't exist but who they continually try to revictimize (this bit of rationalization usually involves the frat boy-types' own alcoholism) & resources limit the opportunities to dismantle these false constructs. Among other things, I would say that if they respected other humans as they say they do, they'd quit with all that. Another important factor is that they know they're only insulated by money. I decided a long time ago that honesty was the hinge factor but there are many factors within a person's ability to be honest with themselves; their problems, not mine. It's been interesting, sociologically. I very much commend your ability to stand up in front of crowds & explain any of this. It's much needed. Glad you have a forum & love & hugs to you.
I'm so happy the series led me to your books and this page. I was intrigued originally because it was shot in my neighbourhood and I rated Margaret Q based on other productions. It was a hard watch, but a game changer for me. I worried for you/her throughout (despite knowing there would be a positive outcome) which I suppose is the litmus test for great drama. Then to find out you're a superb writer and genuine human on top. Doesn't get much better.