It's disgusting, it's cruel, it's degrading and dehumanizing and exhausting...and for so so many of us, it's deeply triggering to be reminded of our own prior (or current) powerlessness...times when we were at the mercy of the lords of patriarchy/unchecked capitalism. My biggest comfort is the solidarity with the MILLIONS of us who would not choose this and who have been fighting it every step of the way in every way we have known how. My guess is now our local grassroots aid efforts will have to step ALL the way up... and the fact that so many will suffer and fall through the cracks is just a terrible truth that will render a whole bunch of us catatonic with sadness, rage, or functional freeze. I'm so sorry this is our nation. Thank you for your writing, and it's a comfort to know you're taking good care of yourself and those girls.
In some way, I believe that those who hate poor people are the same ones who hate the disabled. Frequently those groups overlap.
Anyone can become disabled at any time through an accident or illness. Likewise, one can suddenly end up poor through illness and medical costs, or job loss, or legal problems that come with astronomical legal costs.
I think the hate is fear turned inside out. Instead of fearing it could be them, they "other" those it has happened to. Blame the victims. Make themselves feel different enough that it couldn't happen to them.
Plus, humanity has always loved performative cruelty. Look at Roman gladiators, bullfighting, MMA. What excites the bloodlust distracts the masses.
First of all, I want to thank you. Your essay The Shelter Within was very moving. I bought it on audible. And I can relate how hard it is to having a new born. Initially my husband and I were separated when he was born.
Now, I have a 3 year old special needs son who I fear I will not be able to provide for him because of this bill. Both me and my husband (got back together) work /worked at a Medical Center and due to budget cuts he got laid off. I fear I am next. Tennessee has already passed a voucher system making even harder for him to get a public education. Even with only one income full time we still do not qualify for any assistance. Plus add the fact i am Latina by birth a citizen people still think I am taking from them.
I disagree, respectfully. They don’t hate just the poor — they hate all of us but a few of their rich friends. If half of us were dead, they’d have 50 percent fewer “problems.” Imho that’s how they’re thinking. That’s evil. They’re evil. Sending us all love and hope and peace.
Really appreciate this, both for that first paragraph (that's been me too these past few months), and also the last.
I'm in a better place than I was when I started life over with my kids, but I too remember, and I'm still so grateful we had SNAP and Medicaid. And now??
The cruelty is clear and also beyond what I can fathom.
Each of the mothers who comprise The Three Melissas barely hover over their prior homelessness, now with their children a decade or more older, some with beloved grandchildren. None are safely removed from the ravages of homelessness and abject poverty. So our nation’s continued shift toward fascism presents a clear and present danger to them along with the millions of vulnerable children and adults across our beleaguered country.
Those of us who care for others feel the anguish of yesterday’s sadly predictable vote to slash the shreds of assistance that keep folks alive. This is and will be horrific in too many ways to describe. It’s meant to, among other things, demoralize us all, those immediately impacted by the cuts and those of us who work for justice and relief from poverty. But…
…we can’t give up. We need to figure ways to both bolster those who need help surviving the hand dealt them and to push our nation toward the ideals we’ve yet to achieve—liberty and justice for all. Undoubtedly, we need to devise stronger strategies and more compassionate responses.
Perhaps this ugly bill will shake those of us currently complacent to do more and better. It calls for We the People to extend our hands to those struggling to survive, those caring for loved ones young and old. We thought we were doing our best. We need to do even better.
And for all who are able, it’s time to get even more involved with efforts to restore our nation’s commitment to the yet-to-be-reached ideal of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Local advocacy efforts have sprouted in response to the tyranny festering in our federal and state governments. (Check out www.indivisible.org for one source.)
Giving up is not an option. It sure is tempting. But no. We will fight with all our might, because love wins.
I completely agree. I wish love would win faster! But eventually love has to win in the end. If love hasn't won, it's not the end. (I'm stealing that from someone...)
I woke up around the same time after the election. Devastated, I wrote an article for HuffPost and received thousands of insults and threats. I also heard from so many people that were feeling the same—shocked, deeply upset and not knowing what to do next. They thanked me for writing the article. I knew his presidency was going to be bad, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. Thank you for writing this, and for all you’ve done to bring awareness to how they truly feel about those in need. We can’t be silent.
So sorry you had to endure that. I saw nasty comments on Stephanie's Instagram posting this, and just wanted to shake them. So glad everyone here is much more humane and supportive and real.
I feel like every like minded woman I know woke up - and is still waking up - panicked at 3 am. I also stayed off the news for a while.
I am not poor. I’ve been broke, but not poor, and I know the difference.
What I am is disabled. I have ADHD, which can absolutely be disabling at times, but I didn’t know until 2 years ago. I also have Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, which is a chronic illness, and it’s under control as much as it can be thanks to meds. These people want me dead, too. I’m a middle aged childless woman with a disability. I’m white, so they’re not coming for me, not yet. But they will eventually
. Because we now have a gestapo with a budget of $30B a year, and Palantir building a dossier on all of us. It’s so fucking scary.
I’ve never harbored the illusion that the institutions would save any of us. But to watch them fall away piece by piece has been terrifying.
It's disgusting, it's cruel, it's degrading and dehumanizing and exhausting...and for so so many of us, it's deeply triggering to be reminded of our own prior (or current) powerlessness...times when we were at the mercy of the lords of patriarchy/unchecked capitalism. My biggest comfort is the solidarity with the MILLIONS of us who would not choose this and who have been fighting it every step of the way in every way we have known how. My guess is now our local grassroots aid efforts will have to step ALL the way up... and the fact that so many will suffer and fall through the cracks is just a terrible truth that will render a whole bunch of us catatonic with sadness, rage, or functional freeze. I'm so sorry this is our nation. Thank you for your writing, and it's a comfort to know you're taking good care of yourself and those girls.
In some way, I believe that those who hate poor people are the same ones who hate the disabled. Frequently those groups overlap.
Anyone can become disabled at any time through an accident or illness. Likewise, one can suddenly end up poor through illness and medical costs, or job loss, or legal problems that come with astronomical legal costs.
I think the hate is fear turned inside out. Instead of fearing it could be them, they "other" those it has happened to. Blame the victims. Make themselves feel different enough that it couldn't happen to them.
Plus, humanity has always loved performative cruelty. Look at Roman gladiators, bullfighting, MMA. What excites the bloodlust distracts the masses.
"Are we not entertained?"
I absolutely agree.
100%
First of all, I want to thank you. Your essay The Shelter Within was very moving. I bought it on audible. And I can relate how hard it is to having a new born. Initially my husband and I were separated when he was born.
Now, I have a 3 year old special needs son who I fear I will not be able to provide for him because of this bill. Both me and my husband (got back together) work /worked at a Medical Center and due to budget cuts he got laid off. I fear I am next. Tennessee has already passed a voucher system making even harder for him to get a public education. Even with only one income full time we still do not qualify for any assistance. Plus add the fact i am Latina by birth a citizen people still think I am taking from them.
I disagree, respectfully. They don’t hate just the poor — they hate all of us but a few of their rich friends. If half of us were dead, they’d have 50 percent fewer “problems.” Imho that’s how they’re thinking. That’s evil. They’re evil. Sending us all love and hope and peace.
Really appreciate this, both for that first paragraph (that's been me too these past few months), and also the last.
I'm in a better place than I was when I started life over with my kids, but I too remember, and I'm still so grateful we had SNAP and Medicaid. And now??
The cruelty is clear and also beyond what I can fathom.
Stephanie and the commenters are so articulate I can only rage and spew f-bombs.
It’s been several years since I was a single parent, but that life, fear, anxiety is etched deep.
I'm still in the rage and f-bomb stage of grieving from yesterday. I keep trying to start writing and I just want to scream and punch something.
Each of the mothers who comprise The Three Melissas barely hover over their prior homelessness, now with their children a decade or more older, some with beloved grandchildren. None are safely removed from the ravages of homelessness and abject poverty. So our nation’s continued shift toward fascism presents a clear and present danger to them along with the millions of vulnerable children and adults across our beleaguered country.
Those of us who care for others feel the anguish of yesterday’s sadly predictable vote to slash the shreds of assistance that keep folks alive. This is and will be horrific in too many ways to describe. It’s meant to, among other things, demoralize us all, those immediately impacted by the cuts and those of us who work for justice and relief from poverty. But…
…we can’t give up. We need to figure ways to both bolster those who need help surviving the hand dealt them and to push our nation toward the ideals we’ve yet to achieve—liberty and justice for all. Undoubtedly, we need to devise stronger strategies and more compassionate responses.
Perhaps this ugly bill will shake those of us currently complacent to do more and better. It calls for We the People to extend our hands to those struggling to survive, those caring for loved ones young and old. We thought we were doing our best. We need to do even better.
And for all who are able, it’s time to get even more involved with efforts to restore our nation’s commitment to the yet-to-be-reached ideal of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Local advocacy efforts have sprouted in response to the tyranny festering in our federal and state governments. (Check out www.indivisible.org for one source.)
Giving up is not an option. It sure is tempting. But no. We will fight with all our might, because love wins.
I completely agree. I wish love would win faster! But eventually love has to win in the end. If love hasn't won, it's not the end. (I'm stealing that from someone...)
I woke up around the same time after the election. Devastated, I wrote an article for HuffPost and received thousands of insults and threats. I also heard from so many people that were feeling the same—shocked, deeply upset and not knowing what to do next. They thanked me for writing the article. I knew his presidency was going to be bad, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. Thank you for writing this, and for all you’ve done to bring awareness to how they truly feel about those in need. We can’t be silent.
So sorry you had to endure that. I saw nasty comments on Stephanie's Instagram posting this, and just wanted to shake them. So glad everyone here is much more humane and supportive and real.
Thank you so much, Randy. I don’t know how they can be nasty to Stephanie with all that she’s endured. It’s heartless.
It is heartless. They’re proving her point.
I feel like every like minded woman I know woke up - and is still waking up - panicked at 3 am. I also stayed off the news for a while.
I am not poor. I’ve been broke, but not poor, and I know the difference.
What I am is disabled. I have ADHD, which can absolutely be disabling at times, but I didn’t know until 2 years ago. I also have Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, which is a chronic illness, and it’s under control as much as it can be thanks to meds. These people want me dead, too. I’m a middle aged childless woman with a disability. I’m white, so they’re not coming for me, not yet. But they will eventually
. Because we now have a gestapo with a budget of $30B a year, and Palantir building a dossier on all of us. It’s so fucking scary.
I’ve never harbored the illusion that the institutions would save any of us. But to watch them fall away piece by piece has been terrifying.
It’s all so heartbreaking.
I wonder about the roots of that hatred—the scarcity mentality among those who don’t know scarcity, except of compassion, of broader experience.
Thank you for sharing.